That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize
