Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
