I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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