real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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