they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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