i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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