Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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