I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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