i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
