I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I need water and some morals
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
