Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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