Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
