I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
