...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
