he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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