i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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