yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
