He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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