Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
