You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
