You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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