you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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