By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
