Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Randomize
