that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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