Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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