How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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