Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
please come you make the beer taste better
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
