nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
