someone threw a dead crab at me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
