one two three fourrrrnication!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
