I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
