Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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