Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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