So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
