White coat. Heels.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
