A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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