jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
