nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
