I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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