***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
