I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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