You're completely useless in the revolution.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
