I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
