So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
