Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
