Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
