LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
