do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize