my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
