How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
